LCT Fights: a Black Creature of the Night

VS

Hello, loyal readers. Sorry I haven't been posting much lately, but I have been pretending to do a lot of work for the past week or so. Anyway as promised here is our first installment of animal fights, but with a twist. We are instead going to do LCT fights today, where we match up everyone's favorite little Toledoan against some sort of armed animal (thanks to Muggs for her suggestion). Today LCT battles against a galago or bush baby, but Muggs refers to them as "black creatures of the night" and swears that this is their actual name so we'll use that. Let's break down the competitors (betting lines are NHL-style):










Black Creature of the Night (+180)

Height: 7-8” (not including tail)

Weight: 5-10 oz.

Lifespan: 14 years

Habitat: Woodlands and bushlands

Diet: insects, small animals, fruit, tree gums (?)

Gestation: 4 months

Predators: Eagles, owls, genets (?), large snakes

Special Skills: agile leaping ability; incredible night vision; powerful hindquarters; acute hearing; great balance (due to tail)

Weapon: Screwdriver

LCT (-140)

Height: 5’8”

Weight: 155-185 lbs.

Lifespan: TBD

Habitat: Olympic sized pools; provost office; his apt.

Diet: hotdogs, quesadillas, natty light

Gestation: N/A

Predators: provost, KK Hollidae, grizzly bears

Special Skills: plays various air instruments; strong swimmer; knows some French; kind of looks like black creature of the night

Weapon: water polo ball

The Fight: LCT has home field advantage for his first match as this one is taking place in ICC. LCT is favored due to extreme size advantages, and, presumably, a higher level of intelligence. LCT is pretty dangerous with a polo ball, but my gut says put your money on the black creature of the night. Those little bastards are nimble, and I think LCT's opponent (whom I have nicknamed Edgardo) will be able to outmaneuver LCT by swinging from the light fixtures. My guess is that Edgardo, being faster than fuck, can avoid any damage from the polo ball and swoop down on LCT stabbing him in the neck with the screwdriver.

Conclusion: Edgardo wins in a tight one and returns to Africa a hero. LCT suffers slight nerve damage (Edgardo can only hold a tiny little screwdriver) and a bruised ego. KK Hollidae makes fun of LCT for several months and continually slaps him in the neck wound.