Apologies...not

While I was breaking down whom to root for on the eve of the conference championship games a couple weeks ago, I subtly hinted that Patriots fans might be a little racist in their leanings (because they fucking are):

Fans: (must control rage) Many people know about my disdain for Bostonians and supporters of teams from that area. I'm pretty sure 99% of Pats fans have Welker jerseys to just 1% owning Moss jerseys--take that how you will.

Well, that was a cheap and unfounded shot. To all you Pats fans out there, I just want to say sorr...wait, what? what's that? Bill Simmons, what do you have to say in your queer elegic wrap-up of SB XLII?

5. Much like the Patriots, I choked heading into the weekend: Somehow, I forgot to pack my good-luck Wes Welker jersey and headed to Sunday's game without any Pats gear. Originally intent on buying a Pats hat at the game, once I saw all the jerseys in the stands and in my section, I made the executive decision to fine myself $85 dollars (the price of a white No. 81 Moss jersey at one of those merchandise booths). You can currently find that jersey sitting at the bottom of the garbage can in my hotel room. I might take it home and burn it. I haven't decided yet.

Eat a dick, Pats fans. Eat a dick.

Some extra motivation, as if they need any

You'd think the Giants were the ones that went 18-0. I can't count the number of analysts who have been "going out on a limb" and doing something "completely unexpected" by picking the Giants to win. It's even on the goddamn cover of Sports Illustrated, which is example enough. The only solace there is (thanks to the useless bye week) is that hopefully next week's cover will feature Tom Brady, Randy Moss, Junior Seau and Rodney Harrison sharing a bathroom stall ala McGwire and Canseco, Belichick in a bear suit, and an array of goats.

His name is Professor Snuggles and he's the BEST!

Tony Eason, he isn't.