State of the Mets August 4th

Remember this dashing young fellow. His name is Kazuo Matsui, the man who the Mets let play shortstop while forcing Jose Reyes over to second base. He also has a sweet semi-orange Oriento-mullet. He enjoys sushi, watching old American westerns, and raping children (note: these things may or may not be true). You may remember him as the man who hit a homerun in his first at-bat three seasons in a row from 2004-2006 (including an inside-the-parker). You may also remember him as being the Japanese guy who sucked at baseball so bad and got booed so mercilessly that we fondly looked back on the abortions that were Tsuyoshi Shinjo and Masato Yoshi. And he also just fucking killed the Mets during a three game series in Houston, including a ridiculous bomb. Speaking of which, let's take a look at how the Mets fared last week (I may make this a regular feature every Sunday night, but I only rarely blog anymore so who knows):

Record: 1-5; 1-2 at Marlins, 0-3 at Astros
Starting Place: 57-48, 1st place, 1 game ahead of Phillies, 2 games ahead of Marlins
Finishing Place: 58-53, 3rd place, 3 games behind Phillies, 1/2 game behind Marlins

Team Offense: .264/.322/.351, 19 runs scored. 45 men left on base.
Team Pitching: .291/.355/.518 (these are Avg/Obp/Slg against). 31 ER in 50.2 IP for a 5.51 ERA. 2.56 K:BB, 1.58 WHIP.

Best Player: Carlos Delgado with his .364/.400/.591 line, including the two-run homer that won the game against the Marlins. Reyes also hit .407 for the week, which is pretty good.

Worst Player: Well, Billy Wagner had a 9.00 ERA in a couple appearances, including a blown save against Houston. Heilman had a 13.50 ERA in 3 appearances (he got 2 losses this week), including a grand slam to Mark Loretta that lost that game. Joe Smith was not to be outdone with a 21.60 ERA in 1.2 IP over 4 games, including a loss against Florida. And yet this week the award goes to Mr. Scott Schoeneweis and his shiny 15.43 ERA in 3 appearances. Yea Smith was worse, but Schoeneweis has a track record of being a piece of shit scumbag asshole, and he gave up a bomb to a certain Asian fellow.

Most memorable game: The 10 inning loss at Houston that included a sick leaping catch by Danny Murphy in his MLB debut (and he doubled off the runner), then some little league movie bullshit where two Astros scored at the same time with Mark Lorretta trucking Castro with Hunter Pence sliding in behind him, and then a walk off sac fly where Tatis dove AFTER HE FUCKINNG ALREADY CAUGHT THE FUCKING BALL, allowing the guy to score from third.

Injuries: John Maine went on the DL with a sprained uterus, and Billy Wagner got an MRI today on his huntin' shoulder. Marlon Anderson also went on the DL with arthritis of the skeleton.

Conclusions: The Mets' bullpen sucks at pitching. These games were eerily reminiscent of every fucking game from last September, where the starters would come out after 5 or 6 with leads and the bullpen would blow it every time. Eddie Kunz, who was a closer on Oregon State like a year and ahalf ago when they won the College World Series was just called up and may immediately be our best reliever. Danny Murphy got called up and appears to have entered a platoon with Nick Evans in LF. This just plays into Omar's roster construction and player development technique: fill team with old shitty guys who bring "veteran leadership" and if they get hurt simply promote really young players before they are ready to advance in order to crush their confidence and lessen their value before trading them away for some more old players. Where is Valentino Pascucci?!!

Five Kekionga Losses in a Row Raise Calls for Lennon's Job

Fort Wayne---Thursday July 13, 1871

The Kekiongas proved to be the lesser squad for the fifth consecutive contest, as the Red Stockings of Boston, Massachussetts prevailed on Wednesday afternoon, scoring 30 runs to only 9 for the Fort Wayne lads. Kekionga manager William Lennon of Calhoun St. spoke to this reporter after the game, expressing disappointment in his players lack of focus if not their effort. "Our boys played their hardest out there, but I think some of our interior fielders need to improve their focus while on the defensive side," said Lennon. Though he did not direct his critiques at an individual player, this reporter believes his verbal lashing was directed at shortstop Lil' Jimmy Hallinan whose 11 errors contributed to 19 unearned runs scored by the visiting squad.

Lennon stated his disapproval of the younger generation of players, whose inattention he believes is endemic and a sign of the times: "These young fellows really get in my graw on occasion," said Lennon. "In my day we did not have professional baseball matches or players. These men are being paid as well as tanners or smithies, and still we have defensive lapses every inning it seems. Focus? These boys don't know the meaning of the word. Do you think I lost focus at Second Bull Run? Hrrrmph!"

If focus was the order of the day out at Hamilton Field, then the competitor of the day was certainly Boston catcher Cal McVey. The young Iowan made only three errors behind the home base and led the Red Stockings' offensive attack with 9 hits (reaching base 13 times when considering four errors made on balls struck by McVey), along with 10 runs scored and 7 men driven home. Asked about his dandy of a match McVey's humble responses belied his farmboy roots. "Shucks," said Cal, "I was just seeing the ball real good today and trying to put it into play. It's easy to hit well when the other squad has nothing to stop the ball besides their bare hands."

First baseman Jim Foran repersented one the lone bright spots for the Kekionga, slugging a triple in six appearances at bat, and bringing home three men. However, Foran expressed disappointment in losing to the Stockings by 21 runs for the second time this season. "It's disappointing for certain. I really wanted to beat those gentlemen considering the rough treatment I received from their audience in Boston." Foran of course refers to the racial epithets shouted at him in Boston, where he was said to have heard names such as Black Dago, Cat-Eater, Dirty Mediterranean Immigrant Bastard and Grape-Smasher. The notoriously tough Boston fans had apparently learned prior to the contest that Foran had an Italian grandmother.

The focus (that word again) now turns to Lennon, whose apparent disgust with his squad raises the question of whether he is the right man to help develop a team full of young baseballers. Outer field player Harry Deane has expressed interest in the job and a team meeting is expected in the next week to determine the fate of their wizened leader.

The more important question for Fort Wayne's baseballers, though, may be the fate of the club itself. National Association baseball has undoubtedly gained a foothold in larger eastern metropoles such as New York, where the Mutuals have seen crowds as large as 6,000 spectators. The Kekiongas, on the other hand, have seen their attendance decline steadily from the start of the season. One spectator, a Mr. Wilford Hennings of the Hennings farm near Dunn Mill, put it thusly: "When a modest yeoman cannot bring his family on an evening pic-a-nic without these stick and ball men hurtling rawhide spheres at them, we live in dark times indeed. Sure I played some townball back in the 50s, but then I turned 9 and started helping with the harvest. I am perturbed by these paid townballies to say the least. We preserved the Union for this?"

A difficult question, but just one of several that must be answered by the Kekiongas in the coming weeks.

--Dee Trowe, Columnist, Fort Wayne Sentinel-Courier

Notes: Game time-2 hours, 20 minutes, called on account of darkness at 8:40 PM.

Attendance--135 or so.

Injuries--Jim Hallinan suffered two broken fingers in the first inning while fielding a sharply struck ball, which may have contributed to his later errors. Bobby Matthews complained of "dead arm" after the game, but says he will continue to pitch every inning of every game.