Wednesday, March 12, 2008

Still not as bad as McGreevy

Greetings, loyal reader. Back from Ireland (great time), have a terrible cold/jetlag, and don't want to be at school. I am contemplating just going home after class tomorrow and getting another week+ break (I would miss 5 classes total). Anyway, what's new in the world?

I iz grab you, tittyz

Eliot Spitzer, aka Client-9, aka new-age Elliot Ness, was caught fucking whores. That'll ruin your reputation. A lot of people are calling for Spitzer to resign because he kinda ruined his reputation as a muckraker by being caught involved in a prostitution ring. (edit: he resigned). Frankly, I think that's not enough. He should do a header off the Manhattan bridge a la Detective Markazian after he was arrested in a brothel (this is assuming Spitzer also has thousands of dollars in gambling debts).

Above: the escort, or dirty dirty whore, if you will, that Spitzer was banging.
Real name: Ashley Dupre.
Code name: Kristen.
Stats: 5'5", 110, 36-24-36, 22 yrs. old.
Mediterranean exoticness/appeal: check.
Cost: $4000 or so.

Above: Gov. Spitzer's wife of 20 years, mother of his 3 children.
Real name: Silda Wall Spitzer
Code name: Sexy Librarian
Stats: 50 yrs. old, 5'7", 130, 34-27-34.
Milfish: check.
Cost: 364 day wait and flowers on your anniversary.

Frankly, with the risk to his career and the money he's laying down, I think the result is clear: Eliot Spitzer is a douche.

ON A SIDE NOTE: Please take the time to vote 2008's name of the year tournament. Phyllis Mangina and Steeve Ho You Fat seem like strong contenders this year (and fuck Destiny Frankenstein). My personal favorites include Fonda Dicks and Poony Poon. Alas, they are matched against each other in the second round. Damn you God!!

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