State of the Union

"Good evening, my fellow Americans, heh heh" (smirks)
(Standing Ovation...Dennis Kucinich pretends to blow his brains out with his hand in the shape of a gun)


"I'm here today to talk about the state of the union. We have come very far as a nation over the past 7 years, heh heh." (Standing Ovation...Obama sparks a L, rolls out)


"But we still face many challenges in the year to come. Our economy is strugglin', don't noone have healthcare coverage, Congress blocked my idea to have Haliburton buy Social Security, poor Roger Clemens is being attacked by jealous Texas-haters...these are not easy times to be an American. But I believe that our nation can unite to tackle these challenges as a united unity." (Standing ovation...Cheney looks flabbergasted, mutters profanities under his breath)


"Really though, I'm not hear to talk about America. I want to talk about Operation Eye-Racki Freedom, heh heh. Some Democrats have called for us to pull out our troops, but we ain't gonna do that. We will not stop the fight against terror, until the Soonis Shee-ites and Kurdis can all live in peace and harmony. Al-Qaeda! Unity! Terror! 9/11!" (Standing Ovation...live via satellite: Giuliani red-faced, mouthing "Hey that's my bit!")


"People were mad about my troop surge, but hey guess what crumbums? It's working, heh heh" (Smirks) "We sent like 2 million more troops this year, and only like 6 or 7 died. I think all the statisticulators out there can tell you that that is good, okay" (Standing Ovation from Republican side...Hilary stands up, but Nancy Pelosi grabs her and whispers in her ear. Hilary sits down, crosses arms, adjusts bulge)


"Not to get boggled down in the numbers, but we have lost what? Like 4,000 or something...brave men and women." (Standing Ovation) "Well the Eye-Rackis have lost like 45,000 people. You know what that means?" (Bobs head forward, smirks) "We're winning...like blowing them out!" (live via satellite: Rumsfeld pumps fist)


"Some people are calling this another Vietnam." (bulges eyes in mock disbelief) "But how bad was Vietnam really? C'mon, look at the positives of a pointless drawn out war. Vietnam gave us...cool new drugs, Rambo, hotass half-asian GI baby girls." (Smirks, John McCain nods knowingly)


"And so, we must as a nation come together to fight terror and have good security and stuff, ya know? They hate our way of LIFE!!" (Standing Ovation)


"Oh and you know...tax cuts, education, healthcare, economy, immigration, death to homos...Peace, I'm outta here!!" (Smirks, throws down mic, standing ovation)