Fireside Chat: Isiah Thomas

In the wake of the news that the Knicks just can't live in a world where they're not paying Allan Houston exorbitant amounts of money and have decided to re-sign him, I was able to get an exclusive interview (fake) with Isiah Thomas:

Dtro: Isiah, great to have you here at red stripe and chronic!
Isiah: Thanks, man, great to be here. I love interacting with the fans.
Dtro: Oh, I'm not a fan. I'm really more of a bemused onlooker, like one of those people standing at the police barriers trying to get a glimpse of a horrible car accident.
Isiah: Oh
Dtro: Actually, I'm just kind of waiting for the Brooklyn Ballas to start playing before I care about basketball again. Anyway, enough about me...so what's up with this Allan Houston deal?
Isiah: I thought the team needed a veteran presence, and Allan fits the bill. He's lookin good in the workouts man, ya know what I'm sayin?
Dtro: Do you think it's wise to sign a 36 year old shooting guard who's been out of the league for two years?
Isiah: Ya know, I don't really look at that, man. I think Allan can contribute and he's been working real hard while he's been away from basketball.
Dtro: He has ARTHRITIS in his knee. Isn't this kind of a bad thing in a sport where running and jumping are important?
Isiah: (silence...looks at wrist... realizes he's not wearing a watch...continues to stare at wrist)
Dtro: Alright, I know it's a touchy subject, but I gotta ask you about this Anucha Browne Sanders thing.

Dtro: Why do you think it's cool for a black dude to call a black woman a bitch, but it's wrong for a white dude? Do you just hate all white people...besides David Lee?
Isiah: No comment
Dtro: You ever give that bitch a titty twister?
Isiah: No comment (nodding and smiling)
Dtro: In light of the fact that the Knicks suck despite a ridiculous payroll and you lost a sexual harassment lawsuit, how do you still have a job?
Isiah: I have some polaroids of Jimmy Dolan banging Liza Minelli...er...um...I mean, no comment.
Dtro: You ever superman a ho?
Isiah: Only my wife, Lynn.
Dtro: Alright, Isiah let's get to the fun stuff. Favorite song?
Isiah: Bitches Ain't Shit
Dtro: Favorite book?
Isiah: Where the Wild Things Are
Dtro: Favorite food?
Isiah: POPCORN!!!
Dtro: Alright, Isiah. Thanks for taking the time to talk to me, and good luck with the upcoming season, I guess.
Isiah: No problem, man. Thanks for having me. And remember: there's still time to join the popcorn revolution!