But it is that the real issue here? No, at issue is the fact that the Mets fuckin choked a huge donkey cock and blew it to the Phillies. It really boggles the mind. Seven up with seventeen to go. Only the fuckin Mets can do this type of shit. Maybe they realized they were getting a little too good, and Shea was getting filled with frontrunnin' d-bags (yes, it's somewhat true/ that's the nature of NY) and they decided to come back down to earth.
Anway, let's get to the particulars of my rant. Breaking down who the fuck we should all blame for this. In no particular order:
Tom Glavine: fuckin Brave pussy bitch...I never liked this guy, he fuckin ruined much of my early mets fandom, pitching every year in the playoffs in front of empty stadiums (the Braves may be America's team thanks to TBS, but they're not Atlanta's team)...he defected to the mets prior to the 2003 season in time to kinda suck for a couple years, then turn it around, win some playoff games for us last year, and totally shit the bed in what may be his final game and the biggest one of the 2007 season. I hope he retires, going out on a low, and then loses several fingers from his left hand to finger cancer or like a gardening accident...but he's only really responsible for the final nail in the coffin many other mets had been building for a long time
Ollie Perez: him I don't mind as much, but he really sucked ass in the Friday night game against the Marlins...how do you hit 2!! guys with the bases loaded? Until that night, though, he had been our best pitcher in September (except maybe Pedro) and he has kick-ass sideburns and a wicked slider. Ollie's still cool with me, but it would have been nice if he had come up big at the end
Jose: Dude, I love you. You are the awesomest baseball player I have ever seen. But what the fuck happened to you this year? Aside from April, Reyes was average-to-below-average the rest of the year and totally forgot how to hit down the stretch posting a .205/.279/.333 in September (only 5 SB). I'm just gonna chock this up to wearing himself out earlier in the year with all the steals, but when Jose sucks the mets generally do. He sucked when we needed him.
Bullpen: These sacks of shit are probably the biggest culprit, with the fool above the worst of all (just throw Spiezio a fuckin changeup! ahhh!! die!!. I'm no gonna get into numbers with these fuckers, but nobody could get anyone out the last couple weeks. Granted the starters didn't help them by going deep, but still fuck these guys. Honestly, what the fuck was Omar thinking when putting together the bullpen this year? Mota sucks at pitching. He gets caught using steroids (which happened to coincide with the only stretch he has pitched well in several years) so the Mets gave him a 2-year contract. Fuck you Chad Bradford. You want 3 years?!! Fuck that! Hey Scott Schoenweiss, you want 3 years? Sure, no problem. I heard you once started some games so that makes you flexible! Aaron Sele? You're still alive? C'mon on in! The only guy who pitched with any success in September was Aaron Heilman, and I don't particularly like him either. Even Billy melted down at the end of the year. Fuckin redneck
Rick Peterson: Why did everyone suck so bad all at once? Why didn't you fix Victor Zambrano?!! Take off your fuckin jacket it's like 87 degrees!!!!
Omar Minaya: We already went through the bullpen stuff. Heath Bell for Ben Johnson? Fuck...Brian Bannister for Ambiorix Burgos? Fuck. But really it's not worth rehashing those trades that didn't work--it happens. Still though, you gotta lay a lot of this stuff at the feet of Minaya. We had no pitching depth (Brian Lawrence is not depth) and it cost us. Why you gotta go and get Luis Castillo? Just to make sure a promising young player in Gotay doesn't develop? Dude, he's a Boricua, you could've left him out there.
Willie Randolph: Did you hear Willie's a winner? He comes from the Joe Torre school of management (hence the picture of him in the cap he should be and wants to be wearing) meaning no personality and no concept of how to use a bullpen. Willie actually is a bit unorthodox as a manager. He doesn't using charts or figures or scouting reports...hell, he doesn't even bother to use common sense or his brain...no, Willie uses his gut. His gut tells him what to do, but I have a sneaking suspicion his gut is a hockey fan or something. This is a real (pretend) conversation I had with Willie the other day:
Dtro: Hey Willie, what's up?
Willie: Not much just enjoying a toasted Subway sandwich. My gut really likes them.
Dtro: Cool, cool. So, I see you're gut likes Shawn Green too.
Willie: Sure does. He's one of my guys.
Dtro: But Lastings Milledge really seems to have come around this year and could almost certainly produce more offensively than him while playing far superior defense.
Willie: Not what the gut says.
Dtro: But Milledge OPSed .789 to Green's .782, but was given 280 fewer plate appearances. Not to mention he's like 137 years younger.
Willie: I don't know what those things mean, but I do know this. Shawn...he's one of my guys, ok. He knows how to play the game. You can't teach experience.
Dtro: What?!! That was nonsense. How is he gonna get experience unless you play him. Just cause you don't like a guy doesn't mean he shouldn't play if that hurts the team. What about Gotay? Were you relieved when Omar got Castillo?
Willie: Actually, yes. Thanks for asking. I was glad when we got Luis. He really knows how to play the game. He's a winner, kind of like me. He puts the ball in play, and that's exactly what we needed in the two-hole.
Dtro: But what if I were to tell you that Ruben Gotay is better at baseball?
Willie: That's really neither here nor there. Luis knows how to manage the game, ok. He controls his emotions and he's good at bunting. Did I mention he puts the ball in play?
Dtro: But Gotay gets on base just as well and has significantly more power than Castillo.
Willie: Castillo is a great defender and adds speed to the top of our lineup.
Dtro: Castillo's 32 going on 47, and he limps everywhere. He doesn't play great defense anymore. Not to mention the fact that almost all of our pitchers are extreme flyball pitchers, meaning outfield defense (i.e. Milledge over Green) is more important on this team.
Willie: No. My gut told me none of that stuff.
Dtro: Fuck your mom
The End
Alright, Willie is not a strategist. He's not good at in-game stuff. He doesn't know how to double switch. Whatever. He's supposed to be a great motivator and everyone likes him and all that kind of stuff. But, honestly every quote from him during this collapse was "I'm not really gonna say anything to the team. I trust my guys. We just treat this like a long season and there's up and downs and we just gotta go out there and do what wee've done since day one and...." Fuck that. We were in the midst of a fuckin' historic collapse (2nd worst ever based on the criteria in this BP article ) so fuckin something's not right. Stay the course doesn't and didn't work in this situation. Fuck that shit. And can he ever back up one single player when they're arguing with the umps. Nut up, Willie. Needless to say, I hope this lifeless jerk gets run out of town and coaches first for the Yanks for the next 12 years.
That's it for today. Let's go Pads! I don't wanna die!!
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